Pieces of Me by Sis Shiao Yong

First off, this is my first time sharing in GEPC blog, so please bear with me for a few minutes :) Well, I think that most of you have actually seen me crying during church service (quite a lot if you come regularly). But I think this is the first time that I have to skip one of the cell group meetings because I really burst into tears and it was a disaster for me.

Here it goes..

My mum has a rare disease called scleroderma, where her skin will get harder as time goes by. Eventually, she will have difficulty in speaking and not as normal as a healthy old folk. The medication that she is taking right now will affect her kidney and liver function and slowly she will have other complications. And, I was given this privilege to go through it with my mum. Why did I say so?? I believe this is what God wants me to go through to know His plan.

I always thought that my mum will get well as long as she is under medication and follow a strict healthy lifestyle. In fact, medication does not help in stopping all the hardening process but only slows it down. I choose to ignore that part and I cling on to the hope that one day, my mum will get cured. So, my life goes on as a normal college student, probably get a job in KL after graduating from Nilai college, get married, have a family and so on... I assume that my parents will be there for me in all these events, and I want them to be there. So, I always thought that my mum will definitely make it there for me. But guys, I never know that I was in a wrong direction until something happened to my mum.

My mum is having all her check-ups and follow-up in Singapore Tan Tock Seng Hospital, so she needs to be there every 2 to 3 months. I thought this one would be as usual as every other one previously. Well, it wasn’t. She had hypertension on one of her main blood vessels that sent blood to lung. This was dangerous to her because she might seem asymptomatic, but things can become serious in short period of time. It is unpredictable. I went blank totally after hearing what the doctor had explained. The medicines and tests involved were super expensive, so the doctor recommended us to join a clinical trial drugs test, where all the tests and drugs regarding this complication were all free of charge. Well, to cut short the story, my mum was not fit for this drug test, because my mum's condition didn't allow her to join it.

Can you understand how I feel?? Being with my mum to go through all the tests to check whether she is fit for the clinical drug test is the hardest thing for me to do. I cannot imagine if my mum was to do it alone. I cannot imagine my mum had to bear with this herself for all this while, and she never complained anything to any of us. She would still wake up in the morning to make breakfast even though we were already grown up. She would still iron our clothes, wash our cloths... She never said a word. She is a bit slow in movement right now. There are certain things that I need to explain twice for her to understand. Her skin is getting harder.. Her life was not easy after having this disease. But... she never complained.

But my world fell apart. All this while, the things that are important to me, right now they doesn’t sound so important for me anymore. First thing I say to God, “Let me go back to my mum, I want to take care of her.” It doesn’t matter how successful my life can be if I can't have her in my life to share with. She is my life. That’s all I think. I was so regretful to take them for granted all this while. They never missed out on any stages of my life, and now, I cant afford to be the one absent from their life when they need one. It doesn’t mean that my mum will get cured if I go back to KK, but it will be too late to be with her if things get worst. EVERYTHING WILL BE JUST TOO LATE. I don’t want that to happen.

So, I repented to God and said, “I pray that everything will not be too late for me to realize, I am sorry Lord. I promise I will study hard for my course, but please let me go back to serve my parents.”

Well, I hope I did not make u cry. But I want to share one more thing with you all. I was actually given this privilege to pray with mum when we were in Singapore. Why? Because my mum has not been to church for a long time, but she allows me to pray for her every night before sleeping. Ya, that part really made me feel blessed. Prayer is the best thing we can do for our parents. I don’t have to hide in the room to pray for her, but I actually can pray with her... That alone makes me feel so privileged.

Sometimes it’s hard for us to say “Thank you”, “Sorry” or “I love you” to our parents, so why not say it now? Or even a hug can make the world different. We can do that easily to strangers, friends, but don’t forget about our parents. A simple call, a day off from work and spend time with them... you won’t missed a thing. Just simply chat about everything, here and there... You will realize that your parents are just so adorable. You can try to observe them, especially when they are doing or preparing things for you, if it is not the best thing that they can give you, they won't give you, unless this is the best that they can give.

Sounds similar??? Hm... it is God that I am talking about. If parents are giving their best for us, what more can you think about God? Yeah, God restores the broken relationship that I have with my parents. And God wanted that to happen in every of my relationships. Positions cannot give you tones of friends, but a genuine friendship can. I don’t have to be a millionaire for my parents to have better life, but a genuine relationship based on love is more than enough for them.

That’s all for my sharing. Actually I cried again when I typed this down. But, I hope I won’t make u flood your room... Kidding...

Have a good day ahead and God Bless!